Your Life, will it really change when you leave?


Dec 27, 1991 – I married a wonderful man and had high hopes for the future.

June 26, 1992 – our son was born.

Jan 27, 2008 - The day my mother died. My ex-husband cried (the only time I ever saw him cry in 20 years). My son was inconsolable. I became resolute that day I couldn’t live with the way I was feeling and end up like my mother. 

April 2009, I began divorce proceedings – unbeknownst to my soon to be ex-husband who was simply spending more and more time away from home whenever he could.

July 9, 2009 the papers were finalized. My ex-husband had not contested, not even obtained outside legal services. On the day of the signing his pain was as great as mine when he looked up, pen in hand and said, “I never would have divorced you. I loved you.”

Oct 9, 2009 after sharing a home for four months as a divorced couple, he moved out. As our son and I stood in his now empty closet, we both cried. Although my son had been in favor of the divorce, he looked at me, tears streaming down his tender 17-year-old boy/man face and said, “It’s different when it becomes real.”

And that is what I want to emphasize to you today lovely one.

As much pain and anger as you are feeling right now, as happy as you think you will be – it’s always different when it becomes real.

Don’t misunderstand what I am saying – this is not to tell you to make your marriage work, or to stay miserable and angry. This is just the truth. Some marriages were never made to last. Just know that the end never looks like you imagine it will, especially if all you can focus on is him and getting out. 

If you believe that divorcing is going to bring you happiness, freedom and clarity, it could be that you are too close to the pain and the problem to see what you really need.

Get help. None of us can see our lives when we are wrapped up in them. It takes an objective perspective and help to see what is creating the pain and anger. 

It may look like him – and it may be – but without help, and only your counsel or the counsel of friends and family, it is impossible to tell.

When I finally, finally found coaching, it felt like I had fallen into a pool of clarity and relief. Unfortunately, this didn’t happen until a year after my divorce and guess what? I was smack dab in the middle of another relationship, trying the same things with a new person. I didn’t know any better.

Jan 2010, I began weekly coaching sessions. 

2014 I was a double certified life coach - because it changed my life. 

If you have really had enough, get help. I know money may be an issue. I get it. I really do. 

Think about it though - can you afford to live this way another year? Two? Ten? When does  your well-being, your emotional health and state of mind become an investment that you deserve?

That’s where I come in. I’ll be with you through the entire process. Giving you the tools you need and the support you long for. Let’s talk and decide what’s best for you. Book a no-obligation, Discovery Call here



Kimberly Benjamin Houdebine