Why Is It So Hard To Change?
People who have never experienced coaching, often think it is like every other thing they have tried. They tell themselves it won’t work before they even get started.
Guess what, that is a perfect example of how hard your brain is working to keep you “safe” – even in situations that cause you pain and discomfort. It’s also what may be keeping you stuck in a miserable marriage.
Your thoughts (approximately 60,000 per day) are what create the life you are now living. If you want that life to change, it’s as simple as changing your thoughts. That’s hard, but simple.
The really, really hard part is trying to do it alone.
Here’s why – of those thousands of thoughts we have per day – only a portion come to our conscious mind. Our marvelous brains filter them according to what it thinks we most need to pay attention to.
Can’t you just see a bunch of cartoon characters running around inside our head saying, “Here, here’s a good one, keep this one” or “Nope, that is new, has to be bad. Quick, chunk it before she sees it.”
Let me give you a more concrete example to illustrate. Say you are thinking of buying a car. You’ve narrowed it down to one brand, model, etc. Suddenly you see this car everywhere. Wow, you think, this must be a good choice.
The thing is, there are not suddenly more Iridescent pearl Lexus SUV’s in your world than there were before. The difference is that your brain picked up on the fact that you have entertained these thoughts, by choice, repeatedly. You aren’t seeing more cars. You are simply noticing them.
The same thing happens in your marriage. If you are unhappy, you have spent years accumulating data about it. And your brain has been helping you. Just like it brought your attention to the cars, it is pointing out, loudly, in neon chartreuse all the reasons you should be unhappy.
If you’re unsure, take this challenge. I want to invite you to try something new and see what happens.
Then join my private membership group, Marriage Myth Transcendent. This is a kick butt group of women who are changing their lives one thought at a time (It’s only $74/month for weekly classes and written work, plus Facebook lives. And right now, I’m offering one month FREE for a limited time!).
Because the flip side to change is that we can’t recognize our own sneaky little destructive thoughts without help.