My Husband Said He Could Replace me for $35,000!

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What if your husband told you he could replace you for $35,000?

That happened to me. Or rather, what he actually said was that he could replace "what I did" for $35,000/year. But that wasn't what I heard of course.

I took it to heart, and sadly it became one of the main themes of our marriage. Without realizing it, I spent the next 10 years trying to prove him wrong.

I wanted his time and attention. I wanted to know I was precious to him, irreplaceable. I wanted his support and help.

The truth was that I was irreplaceable to him, he just didn't know how to show it, or tell me.

So, I held onto a false belief that created a shell around my heart.

I didn't understand that trying to be Martha Stewart and June Cleaver combined was not only boring but exhausting.

If I had known then what I know now, his words might not have taken root.

If I had been more aware of my own value, and better equipped to ask for what I needed with reasonable expectations that would be met, I might have laughed or walked away smiling and shaking my head at such an immature concept (Replace me? In your dreams.)

This is not to excuse his remark, because it was unkind and unnecessary.

When one or both partners in a marriage don't feel loved, we fight over small things.

It is far less risky to get angry because our husband neglects the chores around the house than it is to be vulnerable and ask for what we truly need.

If it feels like nothing is working, and you can't keep going like you are - don't

Don't stay confused.

Don't stay in pain.

Don't allow words that are simply his defense mechanism to devalue who you are.

Don't accept them at all.

Want to know how to stop accepting less than you long for?

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It's time to get out of pain and confusion.