Is Your Life Picture Perfect?


I ask the women I talk with every day if they know what they really want, or just what they don’t want. I have discovered that many of us, when asked, can’t name 10 things we specifically want.

We speak in generalities, like happy, or healthy, or happily married, having a good job, etc.

But if I ask for 10 things they don’t want, they can get very specific!

Sometimes we want what we think we should want, like baking bread from scratch (because that would mean we were a good mother), or running a Fortune 500 company (because that would mean we are successful).

But when we get into the specifics of those things, it isn’t anything we want to do on a daily basis.  

We love the idea because it seems like a postcard. But we aren’t drawn to the reality of it because it isn’t how we are wired.

As a result, we never get specific about what we really want, because the image creates the thought that we are inadequate. Have you ever felt that way?

“Picture perfect” doesn’t work in real life because we have no idea where to start. Just like when I tell women they can change their lives, it sounds overwhelming, so often they opt to just endure.

Today, I want to tell you about a different way. 

The brain is a magnificent, indescribable wonder. It is so complex and capable that if we repeat certain thoughts or actions, it encodes them for future use. For example, do you give your body specific instructions for every action you take, like picking something up, walking, typing?


Your brain learned these things through repetition. Now, it knows what to do without you telling it.

And this is great news. Imagine if we had to say - lift right arm 36” to counter height, bend elbow, flex fingers, wrap fingers around glass. Flex elbow 120 degrees, raise arm, bring glass to lips, part lips, tilt arm into forward flexion, tilt glass until water enters mouth just to drink a glass of water …

Exhausting!  We’d probably never get out of bed.

But there is a danger to letting the brain do what it does, unchecked. We assume that along with the vital information it conducts on a regular basis, it is giving us important and relevant thoughts for our well-being. 

When in reality, left unchecked, our thoughts are more often concerned with what our husband meant by the snide comment at dinner. That’s when we go tumbling into “what if’s” projecting ourselves into possible future scenarios (that are not typically favorable). Or climbing down the rabbit hole of “if only” in past tense.

Again, not usually about happy memories. 

No wonder we end up in a cycle of confusion, and negative emotions. If we want to change our lives, we start with the simple things, our thoughts.

And it is not as complicated or painful as we may secretly fear. I sent you a love note a few days ago that will help you begin that process. If you didn’t catch it, I am sending it to you again here.

AND, AND – a fun, short quiz to determine your love essence.

What’s that? Well it is a way to determine how we most instinctively give and receive love – which makes it much easier to discover what we really, really, secretly WANT!

Take the quiz here, then give me your seven answers and I’ll email you your results. It’s that easy.

If you haven’t already, I’d love you to join our private FB Group – The Marriage Myth  then you could PM me your answers and I’ll message you back with your results.

I can’t wait to get your answers to the quiz!