Feeling Trapped in Your Marriage?


My son called to tell me his dad, my ex, is finally going through with it this week end. He is going to marry the very nice woman (I mean this) he has been living with for the last five years. But he isn’t excited about getting married again. I think he fears feeling trapped in marriage. I used to accuse him of picking fights just so he could get away from me. Turns out I was probably right.

Feeling trapped we feel powerless When we feel powerless there is fear. That is when our lizard brain kicks into the fight or flight syndrome - telling us it is the only way to survive. It is misery.

I talk to so many women that feel trapped in their marriage. And the #1 reason they tell me they “can’t” do anything about it, is money.

Money is essential. I get that. But the fantasy that money is the gate keeper in our lives is a bit skewed. We believe if we won the lottery our troubles would be over. But here are a few stats on lottery winners:

  • Lottery winners are more likely to declare bankruptcy within three-to-five years than the average American (CFPBS).

  • Nearly one-third of lottery winners eventually declare bankruptcy (CFPBS).

I know, you would be different. We all say that. And we believe it. But that is sort of like the story we told ourselves on our wedding day, isn’t it? Our marriage would be different.

Money is a really easy thing for us we hide behind.

We are trapped. But not by what we think. It isn’t our marriage, and it isn’t really money either. We are trapped by our thoughts and fears. Just like my ex-husband (and he has money).

Here are three things you can do right now to move toward more joy, less fear

1. Join me for a free masterclass – “Is Your Marriage Worth Saving?” How to Know and What to Do. It's happening this afternoon, so grab your spot now!

2. Challenge your beliefs about money. Start keeping a log of everything you spend. Do it for five days. Get really honest with yourself about where your money goes. Then decided if what you are currently investing in is giving you the return you want.

3. Invest in yourself – Get outside perspective on your pain or sadness. It is impossible for us to see a true reflection of ourselves. We need another mirror – one that reflects back our strengths and beauty – and the truths about why we keep tripping up.

Two of these things are free. Start today. Even if you don’t have an extra dollar. Break free!

Kimberly Benjamin Houdebine