Did You Make A Mistake When You Got Married?


What if you realized that you did NOT make a mistake marrying your husband?  

Even better, what if you knew that no matter what you decided going forward, you couldn’t get it wrong?

Wouldn’t that feel wonderful?

You would have clarity on your next step and KNOW you couldn’t get it wrong.

Clarity and confidence. That’s what I want for you.

For the next couple of weeks, we are going to explore four simple steps to gain some perspective on where you are in your marriage, (besides hurt, angry and fed up). And get clear, finally, on what is the next best step for you to take.

Today we start with step one.

1. You didn’t get it wrong –
Do you look in the mirror and see the cool, wildly wonderful and awesome woman you are? I hope so. But if that seems like a stretch for you – reach in – we are going to play a little reality TV game – similar to “Naked and Afraid” the one that sends you to a remote area equipped with only three things to survive.

 No, we aren’t going to get naked or go to some remote jungle, but we are going to have some fun applying this to our marriage/husband.

Except instead of thinking about him or it. Think about you.

I want you to make a list. What do you need in a husband to survive in marriage? Here are just a few thoughts to get you started:

Financial provision
Lavish Lifestyle
Ability to stay home (not work for money)
Time alone
Ability to have individual interests and shared interests
Protection – physically and emotionally
Good with your children
Same religious beliefs
Handy around the house
Common interests
Wants to spend time with you
Compliments you
Values your opinion
Good job or career
Open and Communicative
Gift giving (time, flowers, diamonds, getaways…)
Notices everything you do
Supports your interests 

I know, crazy list of things we long for in marriage when we list them out – right? This is just a small sample of things you might need to survive in marriage. You might have others I missed. Spend a few minutes and really think about the three things most crucial to you in a husband (meaning any husband – not necessarily the one you are married to now).

Once you have three things – ask yourself these four questions:

  1. Why are these things crucial to me?

  2. Have I ever had them in my marriage?

  3. If so, do I have them now? If not, when did they cease to exist?

  4. If they were never present, what was it that drew me to my husband?

Bravo Beautiful! What did you discover? What are your thoughts? Getting clarity about what to do with the marriage we have now, or hope to have in the future, calls on us to get really clear about what we want.

Stay tuned for the next three steps – or join our Marriage Myths Transcendent Membership Program where we work on things like this every week to help you get the clarity you need to move forward – either towards love and reconnection in the marriage  you have now, or towards the life you long for. Get the deets and join the membership program here.


There is infinite power in clarity and confidence. Stick with me and, together, you will have the clarity and confidence you need.