The Final Step to the Life you Long to Live!
When I talk with clients about change, everyone wants relief right now. And I don’t blame them. When I was in a painful marriage, it cast a shadow over everything, It felt like I couldn’t do anything I enjoyed because inevitably my thoughts drifted back to
the thing that was foremost on my mind – my marriage (aka, let’s be honest, my husband.)
All I could think about was “why can’t he just______” (you can fill in the blank here – hear me, see me, see that I am hurting, care enough to do something about it. On and on it went. )
In my mind, the fix was soooooo easy, that the only reason he wasn’t doing it was because he didn’t care.
Can I share something with you lovely one – I was sooooooooo wrong! I was convinced he could be doing something simple and make everything okay – which created a lot of anger for me. And I was equally convinced that he didn’t love me enough to do the work – which created a world of hurt and eventually drove me to divorce. Soooo, wrong!
In my world the solution was not hard. In his world however, it seemed equal to climbing Mt. Everest. We were, no pun intended, worlds apart in our perceptions about our marriage – no surprise, right?
The painful part is that it might have been possible to bring the two worlds together. I will never know the answer to that, nor do I spend time looking back with remorse or regret about it. Because it is past. Nothing I think about it now will change, except my openness to looking at it more clearly – and that makes all the difference in the world.
And that is what today’s step is about – openness to seeing another perspective.
Here’s what I mean – one question – If you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that your husband loved you and would do anything he could to make you happy, including modifying (not changing) the behaviors that make you think he doesn’t care – how would you feel?
How would you act? (Ok, I meant to say one series of questions.)
How would you speak?
How would you react to his comments?
How would you show up?
Would you still want a divorce?
These are not a trick questions – They are a way to get clarity about why you want a divorce, or why you feel disconnected.
If you know what you want (in the Step One blog you can get here) and you can see where it all fell apart (Step Two you can get here,) and you can put the pieces together enough to see how spiraling thoughts are contributing to how you feel (Step Three is here,) then Step Four, knowing how you would act, feel, speak, react and show up, if you knew he loves you and would do anything to keep you, will give you four important pieces to gaining clarity.
Again, I understand this work isn’t easy – that’s actually why I do it with clients every day.
Because if I had had someone, way back when, to help me with these pieces, I could have saved myself years of mis-stepping, faltering and even more pain.
I was looking for something and discovered I had it all along.
And that is why I am here lovely one, sharing my stories with you, to offer you a much easier and cheaper way to joy, than the path I took. Now that I think about it, it might save you from giving half your savings away to another man that seems so different, (only he isn’t) like I did.
I would be honored to be your guide through your process of clarity and getting on your path to joy. Let’s take 15-minutes and decide how I can best do that. Book your free 15-minute Discovery call here. I’ve got some openings this week, so, let’s get started.
You deserve the life you long to live!